The Business Of Love: If Only Absence Made The Wallet Grow Thicker

Looking for more out of love? Find a honey far from home. You'll eat some extra travel costs but save money overall because, in theory, you won't see him or her that often. Better yet, your relationship will retain its spice--after all, everyone knows that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The problem with this time-worn theory: It doesn't always hold true--for two reasons.
First, while long-distance lovers see each other less, they tend to splurge during the times they do see each other. Second, while absence amplifies desire in the short term, distance tends to damage relationships over the long run.What do long-distance lovers spend on their relationships? One recent study from Goodmind, a market research outfit, pegged the number at $162 a month for couples between ages 25 and 34 who lived on average 125 miles apart and saw each other 1.5 times a month. Compare that to standard dating, with twice a week outings. Just one dinner for two costs an average of $32.50, according to Zagat's; now add on cocktails, movies, concerts (and maybe brunch, if you're lucky). Even in modest metropolises, the numbers can easily top a few hundred dollars a month.On the emotional side of the love ledger, distance does wonders in the beginning, experts agree. Several studies conducted by Guldner and other psychologists suggest a negative correlation between relationship satisfaction and the amount of face time between couples. One reason: The longer people are apart, they more they tend to focus on their partner's positive traits--say, his sense of humor--and less on the fact that he never, ever takes out the trash.
But such idealizing comes at a cost in the long run--and not just in terms of having to pay two sets of bills.
While local lovers may suffer more spats, those conflicts serve to move the relationship forward by forcing couples to face their differences and learn how to compromise. Long-distance relationships, on the other hand, tend to stay in a developmental holding pattern. "Couples in long-distance relationships, while they stay together, they don't progress as fast."
The lesson in all of this: Follow your heart--not your wallet.