Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.

Friday, October 24, 2008

How many to light a bulb?

For some reason, I have a fascination with the classic "light bulb joke". Since I'm in the internet marketing business these days, thought I'd take a shot at light bulb jokes for internet marketers.
1. How many SEO consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
One. All she needs to do is first migrate the bulb to WordPress, install some SEO-optimizing widgets and the rest is easy.
2. How many real SEO consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb and another to conduct a controlled experiment that shows that although rookie SEOs think the light bulb has changed, in reality there are over 200 factors that go into determining the state of the light bulb and we can't really know for sure that the light bulb has indeed changed.
3. How many black hat SEOs does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Black hat SEOs don't change the light bulb. They just redirect people to a different room where there is no light.
4. How many digg users does it take to change a light bulb?
431. One power user and another 427 of their "closest" friends to help them. It is widely known that it is impossible to change the light bulb without asking/begging for a bunch of friends to help you change it. And finally, 11 users to leave comments on why if you had just switched to Apple you wouldn't have to change the light bulb.
5. How many Social Media consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Look, if all you're thinking about is changing the light bulb, you're missing the point. The idea is to first lurk around in the room and watch other people changing light bulbs. Then, start providing commentary and encouragement to those that are changing light bulbs. Then, build relationships with these people in the lighting community. Then -- and only then, should you even think about trying to change the light bulb.
6. How many StumbleUpon users does it take to change a light bulb?
12. One to change the light bulb while 11 others thumb them up and cheer them on
6. How many link baiters does it to change a light bulb?
None. "All you have to do is get a bunch of high-powered people to point to the light bulb and Google will take care of the rest.
7. How many PPC (Pay Per Click) experts does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But she's smart enough to know that you can't just focus on "light bulb". You need to "change light bulb", "replace light bulb", "fix light bulb" and "new light bulb". But, not of course, "light bulb" as that's way too pricey and drives a bunch of unqualified people that are not really interested in changing light bulbs.
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