Terrorising the terrorists

Testing reflexes can lead to testing times.
Following the spate of terrorist attacks, the Home Ministry, under advice from Shivraj Patil, decided to add-dress the issue seriously and tailor their response according to the need of the hour, in other words cut the coat according to the cloth. This did not refer to sartorial changes which the home minister is famous for but immediate and prompt response to terrorist threats which is half the battle won. Which half is still to be decided but the minister had a brainwave on one half of his brain to show how he was on the ball, so to speak, and to test the reflexes of the Delhi anti-terrorist cell. Members of the cell were asked to pretend they were terrorists and converge on central Delhi from various parts of the city to simulate a coordinated serial attack. Here is how it went:
Terrorist (Police) Control: ‘Hello, Indian Mujahideen-One, pl let us know your status?
IM-One: Hello Control, I am not Indian, I am an infiltrator from Pakistan and my status is illegal but…….
Terrorist Control: Never mind, where are you? How far are you from the target?
IM-One: I bin laden with all sorts of problems, my vehicle is stuck in a traffic jam because the traffic lights are not working and all the incoming traffic is now outgoing and vive versa….
Terrorist Control: Good God…
IM-1: Insha’Allah I shall defeat these mad Indian drivers but I cannot make the deadline…
Terrorist Control: IM-2, where are you?
IM-2: I am also stuck in the market, our people, I mean the police, are checking inside, on top, under and the boot of every car because of security after the blasts so there is a queue a mile long. I too cannot meet the deadline.
Terrorist Control: Never mind, I’m sure MI-3 is having better luck, MI-3 where are you?
IM-3: Sorry control, I am also stuck because the rain has caused heavy water-logging and all the sewers have backed up, and so has the traffic. I too am unable to meet the deadline.
Control: Never mind, we have IM-five in place, IM-five, what is your status?
IM-5: (barely audible) Control, I am in the emergency ward of Moolchand Hospital.
Control: Emergency ward? That was not your assigned target?
IM-5: I know, but my motorcyle was run over my some drunken driver in a BMW who was going at 100 mph. He’s made a mess of my improvised explosive device, not to mention other parts of my body…
Control: Bloody hell, that only leaves IM-six. IM-six, what is your status?
IM-6: Sorry control but there’s a power cut in my 10th floor flat and I’m still walking down the stairs pushing my bicycle and the bulky package tied to it. I’m not going to make it.
Terrorist Control: Excellent!
IM’s (in chorus): Excellent? It’s a total mess, our plan has failed.
Control: That’s the point. Our simulated exercise proves that our citizens are safe. No one can get through all the barriers. Citizens of Delhi have so much to be proud about.