Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The new vocubalary

The new vocubalaryThe change in lifestyles, thanks to the Great Depression of 2008, has also led to a change in vocabulary. We are hearing a new set of Hate Words; or words we hate to hear. Here are the ones that are destined to dominate headlines and conversations in the foreseeable future, words that are guaranteed to send anybody into a depression.Global cues: If anybody can explain how stock markets behave the way they do, he/she would be set for life and the afterlife. When the bulls were on the rampage, it had nothing to do with what was happening in the rest of the world. Now that the bears are clawing their way back, everything is attributed to 'global cues'. For those who have invested heavily in the markets, there is nothing more depressing than watching anchors on business channels babbling on about global cues. Well, actually there is: they also have a habit of telling viewers that the bear market is the best time to invest in blue chip stocks since prices are low, just a day before the markets tumble to a new low. It's hard to bear. Pink slips: I used to think pink slips were some mysterious undergarment (Victoria Secrets?) that women wore to look sexy in bed. Now, it's a piece of paper that tells you that your career has slipped and mysteriously gone under.

Saas bahu serials: Millions of housewives are in depression and it has nothing to do with cost cutting, inflation or the state of the husband's bank balance but the on-going TV industry strike that has robbed them of their daily entertainment watching saas bahu serials. The serial killer means that they are now forced to watch re-runs which could be a permanent punishment since the TRP's of earlier episodes are actually higher than the latest ones. Go figure.

ICL: Used to stand for the Indian Cricket League, a hugely popular made-for-TV serial with high TRP's and a great cast of individual stars from sports, entertainment and business. Now that business is down, it stands for Individual Credit Limit which is what banks and credit card companies have started to shrink. Which is where so many of those affected by the current crisis are headed---the nearest shrink.

Crash diet: Used to be a popular fad and made for great social conversation with everyone exchanging notes on the latest crash diet. Now that the real crash is here, the diet is the first thing that everybody's cutting down on. Who has time to calculate calories and carbs and cholesterol when calculating your shrinking bank balance is proof enough that are fast losing pounds, and dollars, and rupees.

Marxism: Was pretty much a hate word except among a handful of faithful followers in West Bengal, I mean the guys been dead since 1883 and last heard, he went out of fashion with the collapse of the USSR in 1989. In fact, he went deeper in the red, metaphorically speaking, with the ascent of the Marx Brothers (no relations). Now, with bankers and financial institutions clamouring for greater state controls over capital, he's returned to mock all of us who treated the free market like the flea market and are now feeling groucho.


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